18 April 2024
My Cancer Journey
INITIAL CONSULTATION
Two years ago at the end of May I
decided to bite the bullet and visit my doctor.
To be honest I had been putting it off for so long trying to convince
myself that I was healthy and had no real concerns. But there was a little niggle at the back of
my mind. My husband had noticed that my breathing
had become laboured at the slightest exertion.
I was slightly miffed at his comment – my weight gain was causing me
anxiety. I had tried everything possible
to lose the weight but the more I tried the more I seemed to gain! Another thing that I had concerns about was I
had started to become self-conscious of my neck. To me it looked swollen and I thought was
possibly due to weight gain. I didn’t
know at the time but was told later that thyroid problems were prevalent in the
female side of my family. So with this
combination of issues, I decided to make an appointment with my doctor. I had hoped that a blood test would help
confirm my own self-diagnosis of everything being connected to weight gain.
You have to remember that doctors
at this stage were not making routine appointments – things had changed with
COVID so it tended to be telephone consultations only. However, my doctor decided that I needed a
face-to-face consultation. After
considerable time examining my neck and going through some routine questions,
my doctor agreed to run some blood tests but included an x-ray of the neck. Things moved fairly quickly after those
initial appointments – blood tests confirmed stress levels were high but
nothing about my thyroid gland showed up.
The x-ray was the crucial turning point for me. Something had shown up which led to a chest scan. At the same time I was informed that 2
referrals were made by my doctor – one for ear, nose and throat and the other
for respiratory. When my doctor gave me
the blood test and x-ray results, I was informed that whilst the 2 referrals had
been made, more than likely the ear, nose and throat appointment would probably
result in a discharge as it was unlikely anything would result from an
examination. He was correct and I moved
on to the Respiratory Team for the results of my chest scan.
DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT
I was informed that I had an undefined lump visible in my lung which needed further investigation. A CT scan then a bronchoscopy and an endoscopy followed as well as a brain scan. At the end of July 2022 it was confirmed that I had lung cancer. My tumour was the size of a golf ball and because of its position in my lung I needed to have an operation in which part of my lung would be removed along with the tumour. On 2 November 2022 a third of my lung and the tumour was removed. This was a major operation with my chest being opened for the removal. Chest drains were inserted but I was on my feet and walking around the ward by the following day. COVID was present on the ward so visitation was not allowed. Thankfully this restriction was lifted 5 days after surgery so my husband and daughter could visit. Within a week I had returned home to recover. An infection a week later resulted in another visit to my local hospital but thankfully a scan showed no clotting. Gradually I started my rehabilitation at home. My one mistake at this time was not moving more as that would have helped recovery particularly in my muscles but tiredness was my biggest problem in these early days.
Within 3 months of surgery I returned to work
although I took some time off each week to recover fully. The type and nature
of my lung cancer meant I did not need any further treatment such as
chemotherapy or radiotherapy and I was given the all clear in April 2023. This means that I am cancer free but will continue
to receive follow up scans over the next 5 years. I am not taking any medication at this moment
in time. Further blood tests 2 months
after surgery revealed a low iron count which was attributed to blood loss during
and after surgery as well as not moving enough during recovery.
REACTION
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Initially my reaction to my cancer diagnosis was one of shock. My local hospital referred me to another specialised hospital for surgery and treatment specifically for lung cancer. It was not until I attended my first consultation with the specialist at this second hospital that I was told about my cancer, surgery, recovery and future treatment. I received complete reassurance at this appointment that the surgery would be successful in removing the tumour and that no further treatment would be necessary. To be honest up to this point I really did not fully understand everything about my cancer or the future outcome. However. I was resting on my faith in Jesus Christ, trusting him entirely for whatever my cancer would mean in the future. It was this assurance of faith that I believe helped others to realise that I had accepted my diagnosis and surgery as well as outcome.
I have to be honest that up to
this point in my life I always considered cancer as terminal. I had personally lost both my grandmother,
mother and an aunt to cancer as well as other family members on my husband’s
side. As I was going through my initial
appointments and waiting on surgery, my husband and I both lost cousins to
cancer. I would say I felt quite numb during the period of waiting for
surgery. My husband and I did tell
immediate family members but at my insistence I asked that we didn’t tell or
let it be known too widely. I do not
regret doing that as those who did hear had mixed reactions, some of which
upset me personally. Cancer is very personal
and acceptance of it takes quite a length of time without the added pressure of
other people’s opinions.
FAITH
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As mentioned already my faith in
Christ is extremely important to me personally. As a child I had made a decision
to put my faith and truth in Christ as my own and personal Saviour through a
holiday bible club. I realised that
Jesus Christ loved me so much and had died for my sins on Calvary’s cross. I had assurance of sins forgiven and a
promise of eternal life. Throughout my
years since I made that decision, I have proved time and again God’s undeserving
grace and help in my life.
Initial thoughts after my initial
diagnosis turned to the length of time I would be waiting for surgery and
future recovery. Whilst I can reflect
now and am very grateful to how quickly things progressed, at the time the days
were long. I had decided to continue working
as long as I possibly could but when I took COVID and missed my first surgery
date, I was advised to no longer work but focus on being well enough for the
next surgery date. Time was long at this
point but I concentrated on hearing and waiting on God for his leading and
direction from his word. It was a real
answer to prayer to have surgery within a month of the initial first date. I was assured of many people praying for me
in the weeks before and after surgery.
How do you prepare for a future
that is uncertain? Looking back now I
have to say I had such a sense of calmness and peace as I knew God was in
control. He knew the end from the
beginning. 27 years previously to the
exact month I had lost my mother to bowel cancer. I nursed her during those last 6 months of
her life and had watched her enduring surgery and chemotherapy. My mother’s faith in Jesus Christ was a
testament to the rest of her life and that memory was something which I always
found comfort in.
Prior to my diagnosis I had committed myself to reading more of God’s word and repeatedly I found God speaking to me through what I journaled. I strongly believe that God was preparing my heart for the trial ahead.
LESSONS LEARNED
I do not know or understand why I
was diagnosed with lung cancer or why I have survived. There are some questions in life we will
never have all the answers to but one day God will reveal it, either in this
life or the next.
Not all cancer results in death
as I can testify. I do believe however
that certain things do happen in life that are ultimately for God’s purpose and
good, not ours. I live today to know more
of God and his word. Yes I do have a
different perspective on life and in particular how to deal with trials that
God sends. Many ask why I did not pray
and seek a miracle from God. I want to
say that I believe God does heal and he uses different methods – for me that
healing came in the form of the surgeon who performed my surgery. God uses the hands of specialists for his
ultimate purpose and good. I love my
Lord and Saviour and every day thank him for my healing and recovery as well as
the cancer.
How I reacted to my diagnosis is
different to everyone else but it is not something you can presume or determine
beforehand. One thing I have learned
however is – it is good to cry and bring all your concerns and worries to God.
He is the best listener. It is easy to
keep up a good appearance to people but when you are on your own, then the
reality does hit home! I have also
learned that it is actually harder for loved ones to deal with a cancer
diagnosis and there is nothing you can really do to help them as they navigate
the future. It was important for me to realise
that people have different responses and some may not look as though they have accepted
the reality of such a diagnosis. However
I knew that it was individual coping mechanisms that I was watching and that
was alright.
I have not talked openly to many
about my cancer. In fact this is the
first time I really have put my thoughts to paper. I really would love to help others who have
just discovered they have lung cancer but not for the purposes of sounding like
I am an expert because that is far from the truth. Every cancer is different and reactions
likewise. Above all else I want to bring
glory to God. I was so aware of his
presence throughout the whole experience and I want to share that with
others. I do not take life for granted –
it is God who has given it to me and I live to honour him.
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