Thursday, 18 April 2024

My Cancer Journey

 18 April 2024



My Cancer Journey



INITIAL CONSULTATION

Two years ago at the end of May I decided to bite the bullet and visit my doctor.  To be honest I had been putting it off for so long trying to convince myself that I was healthy and had no real concerns.  But there was a little niggle at the back of my mind.  My husband had noticed that my breathing had become laboured at the slightest exertion.  I was slightly miffed at his comment – my weight gain was causing me anxiety.  I had tried everything possible to lose the weight but the more I tried the more I seemed to gain!  Another thing that I had concerns about was I had started to become self-conscious of my neck.  To me it looked swollen and I thought was possibly due to weight gain.  I didn’t know at the time but was told later that thyroid problems were prevalent in the female side of my family.  So with this combination of issues, I decided to make an appointment with my doctor.  I had hoped that a blood test would help confirm my own self-diagnosis of everything being connected to weight gain.

You have to remember that doctors at this stage were not making routine appointments – things had changed with COVID so it tended to be telephone consultations only.  However, my doctor decided that I needed a face-to-face consultation.  After considerable time examining my neck and going through some routine questions, my doctor agreed to run some blood tests but included an x-ray of the neck.  Things moved fairly quickly after those initial appointments – blood tests confirmed stress levels were high but nothing about my thyroid gland showed up.  The x-ray was the crucial turning point for me.  Something had shown up which led to a chest scan.  At the same time I was informed that 2 referrals were made by my doctor – one for ear, nose and throat and the other for respiratory.  When my doctor gave me the blood test and x-ray results, I was informed that whilst the 2 referrals had been made, more than likely the ear, nose and throat appointment would probably result in a discharge as it was unlikely anything would result from an examination.  He was correct and I moved on to the Respiratory Team for the results of my chest scan.

DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT




I was informed that I had an undefined lump visible in my lung which needed further investigation.  A CT scan then a bronchoscopy and an endoscopy followed as well as a brain scan.  At the end of July 2022 it was confirmed that I had lung cancer.  My tumour was the size of a golf ball and because of its position in my lung I needed to have an operation in which part of my lung would be removed along with the tumour.   On 2 November 2022 a third of my lung and the tumour was removed.  This was a major operation with my chest being opened for the removal.  Chest drains were inserted but I was on my feet and walking around the ward by the following day. COVID was present on the ward so visitation was not allowed.  Thankfully this restriction was lifted 5 days after surgery so my husband and daughter could visit.  Within a week I had returned home to recover.  An infection a week later resulted in another visit to my local hospital but thankfully a scan showed no clotting.  Gradually I started my rehabilitation at home.  My one mistake at this time was not moving more as that would have helped recovery particularly in my muscles but tiredness was my biggest problem in these early days.

Within 3 months of surgery I returned to work although I took some time off each week to recover fully. The type and nature of my lung cancer meant I did not need any further treatment such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy and I was given the all clear in April 2023.  This means that I am cancer free but will continue to receive follow up scans over the next 5 years.  I am not taking any medication at this moment in time.  Further blood tests 2 months after surgery revealed a low iron count which was attributed to blood loss during and after surgery as well as not moving enough during recovery.

REACTION


Initially my reaction to my cancer diagnosis was one of shock.  My local hospital referred me to another specialised hospital for surgery and treatment specifically for lung cancer.  It was not until I attended my first consultation with the specialist at this second hospital that I was told about my cancer, surgery, recovery and future treatment.  I received complete reassurance at this appointment that the surgery would be successful in removing the tumour and that no further treatment would be necessary.  To be honest up to this point I really did not fully understand everything about my cancer or the future outcome.  However. I was resting on my faith in Jesus Christ, trusting him entirely for whatever my cancer would mean in the future.  It was this assurance of faith that I believe helped others to realise that I had accepted my diagnosis and surgery as well as outcome.

I have to be honest that up to this point in my life I always considered cancer as terminal.  I had personally lost both my grandmother, mother and an aunt to cancer as well as other family members on my husband’s side.  As I was going through my initial appointments and waiting on surgery, my husband and I both lost cousins to cancer. I would say I felt quite numb during the period of waiting for surgery.  My husband and I did tell immediate family members but at my insistence I asked that we didn’t tell or let it be known too widely.  I do not regret doing that as those who did hear had mixed reactions, some of which upset me personally.  Cancer is very personal and acceptance of it takes quite a length of time without the added pressure of other people’s opinions.

FAITH

As mentioned already my faith in Christ is extremely important to me personally. As a child I had made a decision to put my faith and truth in Christ as my own and personal Saviour through a holiday bible club.  I realised that Jesus Christ loved me so much and had died for my sins on Calvary’s cross.  I had assurance of sins forgiven and a promise of eternal life.  Throughout my years since I made that decision, I have proved time and again God’s undeserving grace and help in my life. 

Initial thoughts after my initial diagnosis turned to the length of time I would be waiting for surgery and future recovery.  Whilst I can reflect now and am very grateful to how quickly things progressed, at the time the days were long.  I had decided to continue working as long as I possibly could but when I took COVID and missed my first surgery date, I was advised to no longer work but focus on being well enough for the next surgery date.  Time was long at this point but I concentrated on hearing and waiting on God for his leading and direction from his word.  It was a real answer to prayer to have surgery within a month of the initial first date.  I was assured of many people praying for me in the weeks before and after surgery. 

How do you prepare for a future that is uncertain?  Looking back now I have to say I had such a sense of calmness and peace as I knew God was in control.  He knew the end from the beginning.  27 years previously to the exact month I had lost my mother to bowel cancer.  I nursed her during those last 6 months of her life and had watched her enduring surgery and chemotherapy.  My mother’s faith in Jesus Christ was a testament to the rest of her life and that memory was something which I always found comfort in.

Prior to my diagnosis I had committed myself to reading more of God’s word and repeatedly I found God speaking to me through what I journaled.  I strongly believe that God was preparing my heart for the trial ahead.


 

LESSONS LEARNED

I do not know or understand why I was diagnosed with lung cancer or why I have survived.  There are some questions in life we will never have all the answers to but one day God will reveal it, either in this life or the next. 

Not all cancer results in death as I can testify.  I do believe however that certain things do happen in life that are ultimately for God’s purpose and good, not ours.  I live today to know more of God and his word.  Yes I do have a different perspective on life and in particular how to deal with trials that God sends.  Many ask why I did not pray and seek a miracle from God.  I want to say that I believe God does heal and he uses different methods – for me that healing came in the form of the surgeon who performed my surgery.  God uses the hands of specialists for his ultimate purpose and good.  I love my Lord and Saviour and every day thank him for my healing and recovery as well as the cancer.

How I reacted to my diagnosis is different to everyone else but it is not something you can presume or determine beforehand.  One thing I have learned however is – it is good to cry and bring all your concerns and worries to God. He is the best listener.  It is easy to keep up a good appearance to people but when you are on your own, then the reality does hit home!  I have also learned that it is actually harder for loved ones to deal with a cancer diagnosis and there is nothing you can really do to help them as they navigate the future.  It was important for me to realise that people have different responses and some may not look as though they have accepted the reality of such a diagnosis.  However I knew that it was individual coping mechanisms that I was watching and that was alright.

I have not talked openly to many about my cancer.  In fact this is the first time I really have put my thoughts to paper.  I really would love to help others who have just discovered they have lung cancer but not for the purposes of sounding like I am an expert because that is far from the truth.  Every cancer is different and reactions likewise.  Above all else I want to bring glory to God.  I was so aware of his presence throughout the whole experience and I want to share that with others.  I do not take life for granted – it is God who has given it to me and I live to honour him.

 


If you have read to this and want to share any thoughts ... please do so!

Wednesday, 10 April 2024

Life after death

 




I have often thought about those loved ones who make a profession of faith shortly before they die - is it genuine?  Also as a Christian is it my place to pursue a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ for those who may be facing death shortly?  What evidence is there in scripture to affirm that whilst a person may not genuinely show Christ in their life, that they however may be saved by showing a small interest in the things of God?  Can we pray for those who have departed to know that they are in heaven?  How can I as a person who believes in Jesus Christ as my Saviour know with assurance that I will be in heaven one day?  Many people would refer to the thief on the cross who died with Jesus but was promised to be in heaven that same hour.  And in doing so they make the excuse that there is still time for them.  One day they will make the decision - but is this wise?  Should we really wait until we feel the time is right?  I have recently been reading J C Ryle's book on Holiness and he devoted an entire chapter to all these questions.  I have decided to quote the chapter in its entirety as I feel it very appropriate in answering mine (and maybe even your) questions.


THE PENITENT THIEF – Luke 23 verses 30 – 43

CHRIST’S POWER AND WILLINGNESS TO SAVE SINNERS 

Jesus Christ is “mighty” to save – Isaiah 63 verse 1.

He was a wicked man, a malefactor, a thief, if not a murderer.  We know this, for such only were crucified.  He was suffering a just punishment for breaking the law.  And as he had lived wicked so he seemed determined to die wicked, for at first, when he was crucified, he railed on our Lord.

And he was a dying man.  He hung there, nailed to a cross, from which he was never to come down alive.  He had no longer power to stir hand or foot.  His hours were numbered, the grave was ready for him.  There was but a step between him and death.

If ever there was a soul hovering on the brink of hell, it was the soul of this thief!  If ever there was a case that seemed lost, gone and past recovery, it was his.  If ever there was a man whom the devil made sure of as his own, it was this man.

But see now what happened.  He ceased to rail and blaspheme, as he had done at the first; he began to speak in another manner altogether.  He turned to our blessed Lord in prayer.  He prayed Jesus to remember him when he came into his kingdom.  He asked that his soul might be cared for, his sins pardoned and himself thought of in another world. Truly this was a wonderful change!

And then mark what kind of answer he received.  Some would have said that he was too wicked a man to be saved – but it was not so.  Some would have imagined that it was too late, that the door was shut, and that there was no room for mercy; but it proved not too late at all.  The Lord Jesus ..

Returned him an immediate answer

Spoke kindly to him

Assured him that he would be with him that day in paradise

Pardoned him completely

Cleansed him thoroughly from his sins

Received him graciously

Justified him freely

Raised him from the gates of hell

Gave him a title to glory.

Of all the multitude of saved souls none ever received so glorious an assurance of his own salvation as did this penitent thief.  Go over the whole list, from Genesis to Revelation and you will find none who had such words spoken to him as these “... today you will be with me in paradise.”

I believe the Lord Jesus never gave so complete a proof of his power and will to save as he did upon this occasion.  In the day when he seemed most weak, he showed that he was a strong deliverer.  In the hour when his body was racked with pain, he showed that he could feel tenderly for others. At the time when he himself was dying, he conferred on a sinner eternal life.

Christ “is able to save completely those who come to God through him.” Hebrews 7 verse 25.  Behold the proof of it.  If ever a sinner was too far gone to be saved, it was this thief.  Yet he was plucked as a brand from the fire!

“Christ will receive any poor sinner who comes to him with the prayer of faith and cast out none”.  Behold the proof of it.  If ever there was one who seemed too bad to be received this was the man.  Yet the door of mercy was wide open even for him.

“By grace you may be saved through faith, not of works, fear not, only believe” Behold the proof of it.

This thief was never baptised.

He belonged to no visible church

He never received the Lord’s Supper

He never did any work for Christ

He never gave money to Christ’s cause

But he had faith – and so he was saved!

“The youngest faith will save a man’s soul, if it only is true?  Behold the proof of it.  This man’s faith was only one day old but it led him to Christ and preserved him from hell. “

Jesus is a Physician who can cure hopeless cases.  He can quicken dead souls.

Never should any man or woman despair!  Jesus is still the same now as he was 2000 years ago.  The keys of death and hell are in his hand.  When he opens none can shut.

IF SOME ARE SAVED IN THE VERY HOUR OF DEATH, OTHERS ARE NOT

This is a truth that stands out plainly in the sad end of the other malefactor and is only too often forgotten.  Men forget that there were 2 thieves.

What became of the other thief who was crucified?  Why did he not turn from his sin, and call upon the Lord?  Why did he remain hardened and impenitent?  Why was he not saved?  It is useless to try to answer such questions.  Let us be content to take the fact as we find it and see what it is meant to teach us.

We have no right whatever to say this thief was a worse man that his companion, as there is nothing to prove it.

Both plainly were wicked men;

Both were receiving the due reward of their deeds;

Both hung by the side of our Lord Jesus Christ;

Both heard him pray for his murderers;

Both saw him suffer patiently.

But while one repented – the other remained hardened;

While one began to pray – the other went on railing;

While one was converted in his last hours – the other died a wicked man, as he had lived;

While one was taken to paradise – the other went to his own place, the place of the devil and his angels.

Now these things are written for our warning.  There is warning as well as comfort in these verses – and that is a very solemn warning, too.

They tell me loudly that though some may repent and be converted on their deathbeds it does not at all follow that all will.  A deathbed is not always a saving time.

They tell me loudly that 2 men may have the same opportunities of getting good for their souls, may be placed in the same position, see the same things and hear the same things – and yet only one of the two shall take advantage of them repent, believe and be saved.

They tell me, above all, that repentance and faith are the gifts of God and are not in a man’s own power, and that if any one flatters himself he can repent at his own time, choose his own season, seek the Lord when he pleases and like the penitent thief, be saved at the very last, he may find at length he is greatly deceived.

And it is good and profitable to bear this in mind.  There is an immense amount of delusion in the world on this very subject.  Many are allowing life to slip away quite unprepared to die.  Many know they ought to repent but always put it off.  One grand reason is that most men suppose they can turn to God just when they like!  They wrest the parable of the labourer in the vineyard, which speaks of the eleventh hour, and use it as it never was meant to be used.  They dwell on the pleasant part of the verses and forget the rest.  They talk of the thief that went to paradise and was saved – and they forget the one who died as he had lived and was lost.

Look at Saul and David – they lived about the same time; they rose from the same rank in life; they were called to the same position in the world; they enjoyed the ministry of the same prophet, Samuel; they reigned the same number of years.  Yet one was saved – and the other lost. 

Look at Sergius Paulus and Galilio.  They were both Roman governors; they were both wise and prudent men in their generation; they both heard the apostle Paul preach.  But one believed and was baptized, the other “showed no concern whatever.” Acts 18 verse 17

Beware of presumption.  Do not abuse God’s mercy and compassion.  Do not continue in sin, I beseech you and think you can repent and believe and be saved just when you like, when you please, when you wait and when you choose.  “While there is life there is hope.”  But if you would be wise, put nothing off that concerns your soul.

Beware good thoughts and godly convictions slip away if you have them.  Cherish them and nourish them, lest you lose them forever.  Make the most of them, lest they take to themselves wings and flee away.  Have you an inclination to begin praying?  Put it in practice at once.

Late repentance is seldom true.  You cannot be certain if you put off repenting, you will repent at all.

You may say “Why should I be afraid? The penitent thief was saved.”  I answer “That is true; but look again at the passage which tells you that the other thief was lost.

THE SPIRIT ALWAYS LEADS SAVED SOULS IN ONE WAY

Men look at the broad fact that the penitent thief was saved when he was dying and they look no further.  They do not consider the evidences that this thief left behind him, they do not observe the abundant proof he gave of the work of the Spirit in his heart.  The Spirit always works in one way and that whether he converts a man in an hour, as he did the penitent thief, or whether by slow degrees, as he does others, the steps by which he leads souls to heaven are always the same.

I want to put you on your guard, I want you to shake off the common notion that there is some easy royal road to heaven from a dying bed.  Every saved soul goes through the same experience and that the leading principles of the penitent thief’s religion were just the same as those of the oldest saint that ever lived. 

See how strong this man’s faith was

He called Jesus “the Messiah”.  He declared his belief that he would have a “kingdom”.  He believed that he was able to give him eternal life and glory, and in this belief prayed to him.  He maintained his innocence of all the charges brought against him. “... this man, said he has done nothing wrong ...”  Others perhaps may have thought the Lord innocent – none said so openly but this poor dying man.

And when did all this happen?  It happened when the whole nation had denied Christ, shouting “Crucify him! Crucify him!” And “we have no king but Caesar” when the chief priests and Pharisees had condemned and found him guilty of death; when even his own disciples had forsaken him and fled; when he was hanging, faint, bleeding and dying on the cross, numbered with transgressors and accounted accursed.  This was the hour when the thief believed in Christ and prayed to him.  Surely such faith was never seen since the world began.

The disciples had seen mighty signs and miracles.  They had seen the dead raised with a word and lepers healed with a touch, the blind receiving sight, the dumb made to speak, the lame made to walk.  They had seen thousands fed with a few loaves and fishes.  The had seen their Master walking on the water as on dry land.  They had all of them heard him speak as no man ever spoke, and hold out promises of good things yet to come. Some of them had a foretaste of his glory in the Mount of transfiguration.  Doubtless their faith was “the gift of God” but still they had much to help it.

The dying thief saw none of the things mentioned.  He only saw our Lord in agony and in weakness, in suffering and in pain.  He saw him undergoing a dishonourable punishment, deserted, mocked, despised, blasphemed.  He saw him rejected by all the great and wise and noble of his own people, his strength “dried up like a potsherd”.  His life drawing “near to death”.  He saw no sceptre, no royal crown, no outward dominion, no glory, no majesty, no power, no signs of might.  And yet the dying thief believed and looked forward to Christ’s kingdom.  Would you know if you have the Spirit. Then mark the question I put to you this day “where is your faith in Christ?”

See what a right sense of sin the thief had

He says to his companion “we are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve.”  He acknowledges his own ungodliness, and the justice of his punishment.  He makes no attempt to justify himself, or excuse his wickedness.  He speaks like a man humbled and self-abased by the remembrance of past iniquities.  This is what all God’s children feel.  They are ready to allow they are poor hell-deserving sinners.  They can say with their hearts as well as with their lips “we have left undone the things that we ought to have done, and we have done those things that we ought not to have done an there is no health in us.”  Would you know if you have the Spirit?  “Would you feel your sins?”

See what brotherly love the thief showed to his companion

He tried to stop his railing and blaspheming and bring him to a better mind.  “Don’t you fear God” he says “since you are under the same sentence?”  There is no surer mark of grace than this!  Grace shakes a man out of his selfishness – and makes him feel for the souls of others.  When the Samaritan woman was converted, she left her waterpot and ran to the city, saying "Come see a man who told me everything I've ever done.  Could this be the Messiah?”  When Saul was converted, immediately he went to the synagogue at Damascus and testified to his brethren of Israel that Christ was the Son of God – Acts 9 verse 20.  Would you know if you have the Spirit?  Then where is your charity and love to souls?

In one word you see in the penitent thief a finished work of the Holy Spirit.  Every part of the believer’s character may be traced in him.  As short as his life was after conversion, he found time to leave abundant evidence that he was a child of God.  His faith, his prayer, his humility, his brotherly love are unmistakable witnesses of the reality of his repentance.  He was not a penitent in name only – but in deed and in truth.

Let no man think, because the penitent thief was saved, that men can be saved without leaving any evidence of the Spirits work.  Let such a one consider well what evidences this man left behind, and take care.

Deathbed evidences.  People have little things to give them a comfortable hope that a person was saved.  Christ may never have been named, the way of salvation may never have been in the least mentioned.  But it matters not; there was a little talk of religion – and so they are content.

Nothing is so unsatisfactory as deathbed evidences.  The things that men say, and the feelings they express when sick and frightened are little to be depended on.  Often, too often, they are the result of fear and do not spring from the ground of the heart.  Often, too often, they are things said by rote, caught from the lips of ministers and anxious friends but evidently not felt.  And nothing can prove all this more clearly than the well-known fact that the great majority of people who make promises of amendment on a sick bed, and then for the first time talk about religion – if they recover, go back to sin and the world!

When a man has lived a life of thoughtlessness and folly, I want something more than a few fair words and good wishes to satisfy me about his soul, when he comes to his deathbed.  It is not enough for me that he will let me read the bible to him, and pray by his bedside, that he says he has “not thought so much as he ought of religion and he thinks he would be a different man if he got better.”  All this does not content me; it does not make me feel happy about his state.  It is very well as far as it goes – but it is not conversion.  It is very well in its way – but it is not genuine faith in Christ.  Until I see conversion, and faith in Christ, I cannot and dare not feel satisfied.  Others may feel satisfied if they please and after their friend’s death say they hope he is gone to heaven.  For my part I would rather hold my tongue and say nothing.  I would be content with the least measure of repentance and faith in a dying man, even though it be no bigger than a grain of mustard seed.  But to be content with anything less than repentance and faith seems to me next door to infidelity.

What kind of evidence do you mean to leave behind as to the state of your soul?  Take example by the penitent thief and you will do well.

Let us have some solid proof of your repentance, your faith and your holiness so that none shall be able for a moment to question your state.  Depend on it, without this, those you leave behind can feel no solid comfort about your soul.  We may use the form of religion at your burial and express charitable hopes.  If you die without conversion to God without repentance and without faith, your funeral will only be the funeral of a lost soul; you had better never have been born! 

WHEN BELIEVERS IN CHRIST DIE – THEY ARE WITH THE LORD

“Today you will be with me in paradise.”  Paul says in Philippians 1 verse 23 that he has a desire to “depart and be with Christ.”

Believers after death are “with Christ”.  They enjoy a blessed rest, a rest from labour, a rest from sorrow, a rest from pain – and a rest from sin.  But it does not follow because I cannot explain these things that I am not persuaded they are far happier than they ever were on earth.  I see their happiness in this very passage they are “with Christ” and when I see that I see enough.

If the sheep are with the shepherd, if the members are with the head, if the children of Christ’s family are with him who loved them and carried them all the days of their pilgrimage on earth, then all must be well, all must be right.

In paradise Christ is there – nothing else compares to this.  “You fill me with joy in your presence.” Psalm 16 verse 11  Paradise is a place where Christ is.

THE ETERNAL PORTON OF EVERY MAN’S SOUL IS CLOSE TO HIM

“Today you will be with me in paradise.”  He names no distant period; he does not talk of his entering into a state of happiness as a thing “far away”.  He speaks of today – “this very day in which you are hanging on the cross.”

How near that seems!  How awfully near that word brings our everlasting dwelling place!

Happiness or misery,

Sorrow or joy,

The presence of Christ or the company of devils –

All are close to us.  “... there is only a step” says David “between me and death” 1 Samuel 20 verse 3.  There is but a step, we may say, between ourselves and either paradise or hell.

It is high time to shake off the dreamy state of mind in which we live on this matter.  We are apt to talk and think, even about believers, as if death was a long journey, as if the dying saint had embarked on a long voyage.  It is all wrong, very wrong!  Their harbour and their home is close by and they have entered it.

Some of us know by bitter experience what a long and weary time it is between the death of those we love and the hour when we bury them out of our sight.  Such weeks are the slowest, saddest, heaviest weeks in all our lives.  But, blessed be God, the souls of departed saints are free from the very moment their last breath is drawn.  While we are weeping, and the coffin is preparing and the mourning being provided and the last painful arrangements being made, the spirit of our beloved ones are enjoying the presence of Christ.  They are freed forever from the burden of the flesh.  They are where “the wicked cease from turmoil and ... the weary are at rest.” Job 3 verse 17.

The very moment that believers die they are in paradise.  Their battle is fought; their strife is over.  They have passed through that gloomy valley we must one day tread; they have gone over that dark river we must one day cross.  They have drunk that last bitter cup which sin has mingled for man; they have reached that place where sorrow and sighing are no more. Surely we should not wish them back again.  We should not weep for them – but for ourselves!

We are warring still – but they are at peace.

We are labouring – but they are at rest.

We are watching – but they are sleeping.

We are wearing our spiritual armour – but they have forever put it off.

We are still at sea – but they are safe in harbour.

We have tears - but they have joy.

We are strangers and pilgrims – but as for them, they are at home.

Surely, better are the dead in Christ than the living!  Surely the very hour the poor saint dies, he is at once higher and happier than the highest upon earth.

Many have a notion that there is some interval or space of time between death and their eternal state.  They imagine they shall go through a kind of purifying change and that though they die unfit for heaven, they shall yet be found meet for it after all!

But this is an entire mistake;

There is no change after death;

There is no conversion in the grave;

There is no new heart given after the last breath is drawn.

The very day we go, we launch forever; the day we go from this world, we begin an eternal condition.  From that day there is no spiritual alteration, no spiritual change.  As we die - so we shall receive our portion after death; as the tree falls – so it must lie.

Thursday, 4 April 2024

Rahab


RAHAB
- "She bound the scarlet line in the window." Joshua 2 verse 21

Rahab is a women mentioned in the Old and New Testaments.  James selected her as an illustration of the fact that faith is always attended by good works and he asks "was she not justified by works when she had received the messengers?".  Hebrews quotes her as an instance of justification by faith - "by faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not."

Rahab was the woman who welcomed the spies from the Children of Israel when they arrived in Jericho, one of the first cities they planned to conquer in Canaan.  When the city officials came looking for the spies Rahab hid them under flax.  In return she asked that she and her family be spared with the destruction of the city.  She was instructed to hang out a scarlet line in the window, the same one she used to let them down from her home to escape the city.  The scarlet line would identify her house in the day that Jericho's walls fell.

First notice - her obedience.  It was exact.  It wasn't just a particular piece of rope in any colour but a scarlet one.  Such a simple direction and yet it was the saving of Rahab and her family one day.  What a lesson - when God asks us to do something do I obey?  How can I know what God is asking me to do?  By reading his word.  Many people make this mistake - they depend on what a minister teaches from God's word but they do not open it up to see if what is said is true.

Rahab might have decided not to have tied the scarlet line in her window.  She might have thought that there was another way to be saved - perhaps in her saving the spies from being captured when they first arrived.  Another lesson - I need to learn to obey in all things - not to compromise or believe I can do things my way and not God's.

This line had significance - the colour was symbolic.  Remember when the Israelites were in Egypt and on the night of the Passover they were told to apply the blood to the lintel and side posts of the door.  When God seen the blood he passed over that house and everyone was saved. God's commands may seem small but they are great in symbolic teaching.

Rahab's obedience also arose out of real faith in God.  When she tied the scarlet line she expressed her confidence in the fact that Jericho would be destroyed and she would be saved because she had received a promise to that effect.  She obeyed in faith.  It is because I believe in Jesus Christ that I obey.

The spies made a covenant with Rahab that she could have her life spared and the lives of her family if she kept quiet and tied the scarlet line in her window.  We claim God's covenant - the shedding of his Son's blood on Calvary by simple faith.  He is the Bread of Life and provides me with all that I might need to live on from day to day.  Unless I accept Jesus for myself he is not my Saviour.  It is a personal choice and decision.  Imagine all the treasures Jesus has prepared for me are mine if I would just claim them for myself.

Once Rahab had tied the line in the window she brought in her family to her own house and waited.  She was not afraid.  She was secure in the knowledge that she had done all she could.  A reminder of the assurance we have in Jesus when we accept what he has done for us.

Rahab tied the line in the window.  It was a public declaration of faith.  Maybe no-one else knew or understood why she was doing it but she did.  Am I afraid to tell others about my faith in Jesus?  People should know by my conversation that I belong to Christ.

All inside Rahab's house were saved.  Rahab loved her household and was prepared to ensure they were saved.  She thought of others before herself.  Do I?


Rahab had heard so much of God and she gathered her family around her. She realised there was a time coming when the Israelites would come and takeJericho captive. In verse 1 of chapter 2 she asks the spies to promise her that she and her family would be saved.

The character of Rahab - a soul winner - verse 1. Her house was frequented by men for entertainment. Hebrews 11 verse 31. Her name and particularly her description didn't drop even after she was saved, she was still a harlot.

The conversion of the soul winner - it was genuine in Rahab's case. The spies were led to her house and she told them what she had heard of God, particularly the Red Sea crossing and the defeat of 2 kings. The result of hearing these stories was "our hearts melted". Conversion comes through hearing the word of God. Rahab didn't just hear, she also believed.

The commitment of the soul winner - Rahab was ready to take her stand with the people of God. She was not fighting against them but taking a stand with them. She could have been killed for hiding the spies but she risked all to send them out of the city another way. Rahab also waited to ensure her family were all saved when the Israelites returned.

Rahab lived in Jericho, one of the most powerful city states of her day. The people of the city had heard of God's miraculous judgments on the Egyptians and others who had dared to challenge God's people. Yet only one woman - a prostitute - responded in faith and fearlessly gave shelter to the Hebrew spies sent to check out the conditions in Jericho, an act of treason punishable by death. Rahab alone asked 3 men of Israel to save her and her family from the coming destruction. In the end Rahab and her family were the only townspeople spared when the walls of Jericho came down. What was the difference between Rahab and the rest of he people of Jericho? God says it was "by faith. Rahab was willign to give up everything to turn her back on her country and her pagan gods, to even risk her life to follow the true God of the Israelites. By doing so she aided in accomplishing the purpose of God in Jericho.

What are you willing to risk, give up and endure to follow the true God by faith? Look to god for courage. Trust in him. Believe in his ability to deliver you. You can boldly travel through life and its trials with God as your ultimate guide.

Rahab lived in Jericho, one of the most powerful city states of her day. The people of the city had heard of God's miraculous judgments on the Egyptians and others wh had dared to challenge





Monday, 1 April 2024

Friendship - the story of Mary Magdalene


It's Easter Monday and I am sure like me you are thinking ... well that's it for another year but my mind was drawn to what happened after Easter in the bible.  We get so caught up with the emptiness of Easter that we lose the significance of the events after that empty tomb.  I am so thankful that the empty tomb means Jesus is alive today!  But what about those left behind after that first Easter?

I find it amazing that women are to the fore of the Easter message.  They were the ones who came to the tomb to anoint Jesus' body.  As I listened to various online messages yesterday I was struck with the fact that the women asked the question 'Who shall roll the stone' and not 'how shall we roll away the stone?'

Today as I turned to John's gospel chapter 20 I was struck with what happened after the men had left the tomb.  They went back home to think about what they had seen - John was the one who we are told believed immediately he had seen the evidence but what did the women do?  We know that 1 woman stayed - Mary Magdalene.  I wonder did Peter and John rebuke her and tell her to go home too?  John clearly puts in a "but" at this point in the story.  

Mary Magdalene had a personal encounter with Jesus prior to this - she was the one who had 7 demons cast out of her.  That was an amazing testimony and I am sure if she was alive today we would have had her at many of our meetings just so we could marvel ourselves at the power of Jesus' transformation in her life.  But Mary had yet to experience the risen Saviour.

Empty - that is the word that I have heard these past few days - the tomb is empty.  Jesus is alive hallelujah!  I am sure Mary also felt 'empty'.   As a woman she must have been emotionally upset at what John and Peter saw and told her.  Her only way of expressing how she felt was through tears.  Tears are an eloquent unpretentious language of the soul.  Jesus himself used them at the tomb of his friend Lazarus.  Then he was not weeping for the loss of his friend because he knew that soon he would bring him back to life but rather he was weeping at the realisation of separation sin had caused to this world.  He knew that although Lazarus would be raised at this point in his life one day he would die physically again - he would be separated from those he loved and knew in this world.

For Mary Magdalene these tears represented the loss of friendship with a man who had loved her and known her.  He knew her past, her present and yes even her future.  Scripture tells us that one day all our tears will be wiped away and we will know only joy unspeakable.  No more death, no more separation.  What an amazing thought.

Mary's weeping turned to seeing.  She had moved from outside the tomb to inside.  Perhaps she wanted to see for herself if it was exactly as the men said it was.  Angels appeared where Jesus had been - one positioned where his head would have laid and the other at his feet.  Angels remind us of the 2 cherubims back in the Ark of the Tabernacle during the wilderness wanderings of Israel in the Old Testament.  John is telling us that Jesus is the true mercy seat.  In him alone we have forgiveness of sins, deliverance from the wrath of God and peace with God for time and eternity.  What a visible lesson this was to Mary that day.

The angels spoke to Mary and asked her a simple question - 'why are you weeping?'  They wanted her to acknowledge her grief because in doing so she would gain an understanding of what was now before her.  Mary was only concerned with one thing - she wanted the visible evidence of Jesus' body.  She couldn't fully take in the fact that Jesus had left the grave and was now alive again.  So many understand the message of the resurrection morning but it is only a head knowledge.  They accept it but don't fully believe it to be true in their hearts.  For Mary it was the same.  She knew the truth but didn't quite believe it.  She needed a turning around and that is what happened - she turned and saw Jesus standing there.  A personal encounter with the risen Christ.

Jesus at this point spoke to Mary and asked her the same question the angels had asked - "why are you weeping" but he added "who are you looking for".  Many people are looking today but not for Jesus.  They are searching in vain and they don't see jesus standing before them.  They need the realisation that Mary now came to - this was Jesus standing before her.  She turned from the grave to Jesus, the giver of eternal life.  From darkness to looking at the Light of the World.  Her tears were instantly dried.

It was at this point that Jesus called her by her name.  A sign of intimacy.  It was personal and special.  May responded with "Rabboni" and just in case you didn't catch the meaning of that name John tells us "Master".  In other words - "my dear Lord".  She had seen Jesus alive.  For the first time in days darkness had been overwhelmed by light.  Death had been killed dead by the resurrection of Christ.

Jesus spent time explaining to Mary what had happened.  He commissioned her to go and tell.  And that is exactly what she did.  What an amazing experience she had but you know the message hasn't changed today.  We need that realisation - to go and tell others of Christ.  That is why we celebrate the risen Christ.  It is much more than an empty tomb.  Mary was richly privileged because she deeply loved.  But there was a message not just for Mary - "go to my brethren".  Those men who had claimed not to know him and deserted him 3 days previously were now included in this very personal message to a woman.  We are commanded to testify to the risen Saviour with both our lives and our lips.  A true Christian testimony is a spontaneous overflow of an encounter with the risen Christ.

How appropriate that on this day I am starting to read Rebecca McLaughlin's book entitled No Greater Love all about friendship that I should be drawn to this great friendship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene.  This has all the hallmarks of what true friendship is.  What love was shown to this woman by a man who had died and rose again.  That love is still available to me today and you as you read and realise what Jesus has done - he died to save you from your sin.  Are you still searching for the risen Christ?  Are you only seeing emptiness today?  


"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
John 15 verse 13